TEENAGE boys are nothing more than younger versions of men, new research suggests.
Scientists at the Institute of Studies said the evidence showed that men and boys exhibited many close similarities, but chiefly an overwhelming instinct to insert their penises into anything warm.
During the research the scientists asked 30 teenage boys if it was wrong to pressurise their girlfriends for sex or use alcohol to get them into bed, and they all stared blankly at them as if they were insane.
When they posed the same question to a group of men they asked the researchers to repeat it slowly before asking sarcastically if they had any better ideas.
Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: "Bone fragments, DNA and the fossil record all suggest teenage boys and men are very closely related.
"But it only hits home when you place them all in a room together with a Jenna Jameson DVD and a pile of old Hustlers.
"Observing their ritualised behaviour, the way they use sticks, and mark out their territory with urine, there is little doubt they are in some way genetically linked."
Kyle Johnson, a 16 year-old boy from Southampton, said: "If you really, really loved me you would let me put it in, and if you don't, I know some other bird that will."
But his father Lyle said: "If you really loved me you'd let me do that thing that everyone says is even better than you think it's going to be. Shall I open that second bottle of wine?"