There is no non-wanky way to sign off an email, study finds

THERE is no way to end an email that does not make you sound like a bit of a twat, it has been confirmed.

The Institute for Studies found all email sign-offs suffered from problems such as being weirdly matey, passive-aggressive or sternly formal like a threatening letter from a bank.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Does anyone actually know what ‘kind regards’ means? Also it sounds a bit drippy and outdated, as if you’ve somehow received an email from a Victorian aunt.

“An abrupt ‘thanks’ sounds sarcastic, or as we academics would describe it, ‘a bit pissy’. 

“Then there’s ‘Cheers’, which gives the impression you want to take the recipient down the pub for a blokey night out, when all you’re doing is sending a work email about some marketing toss.

“Don’t get me started on sign-offs like ‘Yours sincerely’, which make you sound like an elderly gran who thinks all emails have to be written like a formal letter of condolence.

“Even if you settle on the blandest, most non-committal expression, ‘all the best’, it just sends out the message ‘I have no fucking idea how to end my emails’.”