LONG-RANGE weather forecasting is impossible because of the chaos theory, according to office worker Tom Logan.
Reports of a breakthrough in predicting weather have been met with cynicism by 39-year-old Logan, who knows all about science because he watched a Channel 4 programme in the 90s about butterflies flapping their wings.
He said: “Haven’t these people even heard of the chaos theory? It’s all about fractal patterns like you used to get at raves.
“There was a book about in too, probably called ‘The Chaos Theory’ or maybe ‘Theory of Chaos’.
“Anyway it explains why you can’t predict the weather. It is folly to try.”
Logan’s line manager Emma Bradford said: “I predict with 100% accuracy that he will get sacked unless he shuts up and does some work.”