YOU’VE officially passed your driving test and you’re allowed to be in a car on your own. But can you actually drive? Time to find out.
You’re on a busy main road and need to turn left into a side street. What do you do?
A. Indicate, check it’s safe, then go.
B. Just turn, f**k everyone else. They’ll probably stop.
You’re driving on the motorway and need to overtake. Which lane do you choose?
A. The right hand lane.
B. I just get right up the backside of the person in front until they move. Easy.
You’re on a narrow country road at night. How fast are you going?
A. Not as fast as usual so I have reasonable time to slow down if someone comes the other way.
B. 105mph, or 5mph, depending on whether I think the police are behind me.
A pedestrian wants to cross at a zebra crossing you’re approaching. What do you do?
A. Slow down and let them cross.
B. Accelerate over it. Hopefully not over them, but what is life without a little risk?
You need to send someone a text. What do you do?
A. Wait until you’ve stopped and then do it.
B. Jump on the fast lane of the motorway and take both hands off the wheel so you can text freely.
You finally made it to your destination. How do you park?
A. In-between the lines.
B. I park sideways across several bays to ensure I take up maximum space but also leave no room for the person next to me to open their door more than a crack.
You know how to drive and deserved to pass your test. Keep it up and hope you don’t encounter any drivers who got Bs (which you definitely will).
Christ. Maybe the examiner was drunk, or maybe you slipped them a tenner. In any case, you definitely aren’t roadworthy. Enjoy having a licence while it lasts.