16-year-old fools barman by ordering a Campari and soda

A 16-YEAR-OLD girl managed to fool bar staff that she was of legal drinking age by ordering a Campari and soda. 

Nicki Hollis tricked the barman, who she feared was about to card her, at Revolution in Loughborough into thinking she was older by ordering a sophisticated, adult drink only enjoyed by mature palates.

She said: “I could see in his eyes that if I ordered a WKD or even a vodka and Coke I’d confirm his suspicions, so I had to think fast.

“I needed something cultured, something worldly, and when I ordered that Campari I saw the change in his manner. Suddenly it was like he was serving a 25-year-old. A woman.

“Unfortunately Campari is a bitter grapefruit liqueur which is absolutely hanging, so the second part of the plan – to get pissed – fell down a bit.

“Also I was stuck in the toilets most of the night holding my mate Hayley’s hair while she was sick. She’d had three Pernod and blacks.”

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Even Big Brother not watching Big Brother

THE Channel 5 TV series Big Brother is no longer under surveillance by anyone, it has emerged. 

The reality TV show is the one location in the UK not constantly being monitored by the security services, with its inhabitants enjoying total privacy.

An MI5 spokesman said: “1984’s prediction of a total surveillance state in which even the most conformist citizens are constantly watched for possible thoughtcrime came true, apart from a single house.

“There, even though the cameras are running 24 hours a day and the footage is theoretically broadcast nationwide, you can live your life knowing that nobody is observing you because of the sheer boredom of doing so.

“War is peace, freedom is slavery, appearing on telly is the only way to remain unseen. It’s totes Orwellian.”