22% Who Trust Politicians To Be Deported

THE 22% of Britons who trust politicians should be deported, it was claimed last night.

Southampton can process 250,000 fucknuts a day

According to a recent survey more than a fifth of the adult population not only trust our political leaders but believe they are about to earn a multi-million pound commission after helping a Nigerian doctor transfer money from Andorra.

Now a panel of leading academics has called for all eight million of them to be herded onto boats and shoved into the Atlantic.

Professor Henry Brubaker, director of the Institute for Studies, said: "We will have to commandeer car ferries and mobilise the entire merchant fleet.

"We may even need people to volunteer their own pleasure craft, a bit like the Dunkirk evacuation, but in reverse.

"Of course the deportees will have to pilot and navigate the vessels themselves which will lead inevitably to some very heavy losses. How terribly sad.

"I imagine the remaining ships will be rejected at every port and left to wander the high seas like some Voyage of the Idiot Damned."

Professor Brubaker added: "Twenty-two fucking percent…"

Meanwhile the panel has also demanded a special camp for all those who have signed the 'X-Factor: Bring Back Laura White' petition.