A day in the wretched life of a Red Wall voter, by a Guardian writer

By Joanna Kramer

NOT many people have heard of Clecksleydale in Yorkshire, the obscure Red Wall town where Martin Bishop was brought up and now endures a daily living hell. 

When I arrived to meet retired electrician Bishop, the signs of economic decline were everywhere – a poorly attended Costa, several charity shops selling unwanted Compare The Market meerkats, and no restaurants I would consider visiting.

Bishop begins his day trying to find a traditional cafe for breakfast. Once, he only had to walk five minutes to find one. Now it takes seven. Logan blames the immigrants and wishes the Labour Party would have the guts to acknowledge his concerns.

Bishop said: “There’s no young people anymore in Clecksleydale. They all moved out in 1984 when there were no jobs to be had, thanks to Michael Foot and the Labour Party.

“Everyone’s forgotten about us. Once there’d be a BBC TV crew here every day asking what we thought about Brexit. Now we’re lucky if they come twice a week. It’s as if they’re just not interested in our rambling, confused opinions anymore.

“Shops are closing down all over the place, which is probably the immigrants again. We can’t get out to these big megastores. What are we supposed to do? Answer me that, Jeremy Corbyn. 

“I’m still voting for Boris. He talks the language of real people like me – complete bollocks.”

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Prepare for food shortages, mass unemployment and a 10-year recession, says proud prime minister

THE UK has been told to get ready for food shortages, rampant inflation and losing their jobs and homes by a strong, resolute prime minister. 

Boris Johnson has assured Britain he will not allow an inch of the country’s sovereignty to be given up and that they will be paying the price for a generation. 

He said: “From January 1st we will be moving to an Antarctica-style deal with the EU, trading with it on the same terms as that noble continent. 

“So now is the moment to liquidate your business, put your savings into gold, stock up on non-perishable food, fill the bath with drinking water and nail plywood over the windows. 

“Within five years Northern Ireland will have left the Union. Within a decade, Scotland will follow. You may never holiday abroad again. 

“In all candour, the deal on the table from the EU would avoid these outcomes but Britain cannot accept it because it has bits we either do not like now or might not like at some unspecified point in the future. 

“Prepare for the worst crisis since the Great Depression to hit this country, and this country alone. It’s what we all wanted. Thank you.”