A MAN has let neighbours know he is not to be trifled with by giving his home internet a needlessly aggressive name.
32-year-old Wayne Hayes called his TalkTalk broadband ‘getyourownfrigginginternet’ in a stern warning to neighbours who might try to crack his password.
Hayes said: “I considered ‘hands-off-bitches’ and ‘fuckyouitsmine’ but I thought the word ‘fuck’ was a bit strong given that the lady next door is 77.
“But I think that 77-year-old now knows very clearly that I am a real badass. I’m like John Wayne guarding a Wild West village from bandits, if the bandits were trying to watch Netflix instead of shooting at him.”
Hayes’s neighbour, retired schoolteacher Margaret Gerving, said: “I use the internet to keep in touch with my grandchildren in Australia and to be honest I don’t like seeing such abusive language.
“Also why would I try to steal his internet? It’s TalkTalk and everyone knows they’re shit.”