STRANGELY, today’s children are sometimes indifferent to the magical treasures we loved as kids. Here, 12-year-old Josh Hudson gives his verdict.
How did they make this, in a shed on a £5 budget? They should have called it Crap That Belongs in a Bin. And sorry, life is too short to sit through tedious four-minute interludes about some annoying mice going sailing with horrible folk music.
You’re serious? They fobbed you off with this? You poor, gullible, adventure-starved old people. When they had that gun fight at the end of the second episode I was shouting, ‘Just shoot them in the strings!’
It’s your generation that is responsible for this weird waste of space on Sainsbury’s shelves. What the hell’s a ‘beano’ anyway? Admit it, you had no idea. And Plug from The Bash Street Kids is just offensive body-shaming. Written by old men who were out of short trousers by the year 1929, I’ll bet.
The Magic Roundabout
The Magic Shiteabout, more like. I know you were all on drugs in the 1970s but I don’t care how high you were, no snail is half the size of a f**king dog.
Did none of you ask why the shopkeeper doesn’t just tell this time waster: ‘Sod off, I’m trying to run a business here. Every day you wander in and never make a single purchase. You’re in that bloody changing room for 20 minutes at a time, making me turn away paying customers, then you come out with some delusional rubbish about being a knight.’