NOT socialising is preferable to hanging out with annoying people, it has been claimed.
New research found that 10 per cent of people have no close friends, often because they cannot find any humans they want to spend time with.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Humans are getting less likeable, to the point where most social interaction is painful.
“Loneliness is the lesser of two evils when you compare watching telly to being in a chain bar with a group of creatine addicts in fancy trousers talking about their money.”
Office administrator Emma Bradford said: “I would be up for having more friends if people in general weren’t such a bunch of twats.
“All the conversation at work is about Graze boxes or why whoever’s off sick is evil.
“It’s not ideal but I’ve decided to become unhealthily obsessed with my cat.”
Professor Brubaker said: “By 2114 the concept of friendship will have been phased out, everyone will either be ‘business contacts’ or ‘sex partners’.
“It’s all part of the glorious grand plan to make you shut the fuck up and keep working.”