Best thing about getting old is being spoken to like a f**king toddler, say OAPs

ONE of the most fantastic things about getting old is being spoken to like a child, pensioners have confirmed.

While some aspects of the ageing process can be challenging, such as common health complaints and thoughts of impending death, OAPs said being addressed as if you are a toddler ‘really softens the blow’.

Martin Bishop, 79, said: “My children communicate to me entirely through baby talk now. The other day my eldest daughter asked me if I’d like a ‘drinky’.

“It’s so sweet of her. Nothing pays a more fitting tribute to the life I have lived – including the decades raising her and her brothers and my career as an architect – than reducing me to the status of a pre-schooler.”

Retired headmistress Margaret Gerving, 82, added: “The other day a woman on the bus bellowed at me to stand still so she could ‘help me off’.

“Then she kept shouting ‘You’re OK, don’t worry’ as she dragged me across the road by the elbow, in a different direction to the one I had planned.

“It was just so fucking considerate.”