BMW driver seen pissing across two urinals

A MAN who owns a BMW somehow managed to take up two urinals, it has emerged.

Investment banker Nathan Muir was seen standing between two urinals in a Toby Carvery, alternately using both and preventing anyone else from relieving themselves.

Witness Tom Booker said: “He cut in front of me on the way to the bathroom, and gave me the finger as he went through the door.

“I realised then it was his BMW taking up two spaces in the car park.

“When I got in there he was standing with legs spread between the only two urinals. There was quite an unpleasant mess. After he finished he pushed past me and flicked me the Vs this time.”

Upon completing his piss, Muir retired to the restaurant where he was seen taking up a table for eight, before driving to his next meeting using most of the road.

Muir said: “Yeah I did that, and I’d do it again. I like to behave in pedestrian life as I behave on the road. It’s just how I am – a fuck of a lot more important than you.”