Britain to continue in normal state of ridiculous incompetence

BRITONS are relieved to discover that life will continue in its everyday state of raging incompetence and chaos.

After it was confirmed there was no clear plan for anything, millions of people breathed a sigh of relief that the total confusion to which they are accustomed will not be ending any time soon.

Shopkeeper Emma Bradford said: “We’re neither in or out of Europe, with nobody in charge or any clear plan for anything and the looming spectre of Boris, which is exactly how I like it. I’m so used to utter chaos now that it gives me a nice cosy feeling.

“Perhaps we could have a referendum on the name of the country, with a million different options including ‘Custardopolis’ or ‘Country McCountryface’. Then put YouTube in charge of building hospitals.

“That would be reassuringly, traditionally fucked up.”

Bank worker Roy Hobbs added: “Britain!”