A TOURISM body has produced a list of Britain’s best destinations for aggressive, anti-social behaviour.
After releasing a picnic spot guide, Visit England has listed places in which to fight, goad animals or loudly tell your children to get fucked.
A spokesman said: “Our new list is a must for anyone wanting a completely dysfunctional day out. Britain is full of wonderful places to vandalise and friendly locals to intimidate.
“Unsurprisingly, Blackpool scored highly, thanks to its fantastic array of pubs where you can get into a fight at any time of the day. And of course there’s the beach if you fancy an invigorating piss in the sea.
“For those preferring the countryside, we’d recommend places like Avebury, with its fascinating collection of standing stones you can attempt to push over, or just draw cocks on.”
The list also contains family-friendly destinations such as isolated car parks where children could hang around aimlessly and damage cars with a football.
“And if you’re into dogging, Brentwood in Essex is perfect for people who like to watch men having sex with women who also look like men.”
Visit England is also compiling a guide to anti-social activity holidays, such as kicking down dry stone walls that Guardian readers have just rebuilt.