Britons spending typical Sunday giving £200,000 to their children

PARENTS across Britain are enjoying a traditional Sunday giving six-figure sums to their offspring.

After a proper lie-in and a hearty breakfast, millions of families will go to a local park, along with their lawyers and accountants, and make a significant financial transaction designed to avoid inheritance tax.

The Reverend Julian Cook said: “It’s great that avoiding inheritance tax remains such an ordinary, everyday part of our lives. It hasn’t been undermined by television or video games.”

Father-of-two Tom Logan added: “We give about £100,000 to one of our kids every week. They take it in turn so that every Sunday we’re doing something to avoid inheritance tax, as a family.

“Just normal, boring stuff.”

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Cameron not avoiding pathetic end to political career

DAVID Cameron has chosen to avoid an £80,000 tax bill instead of a shabby and humiliating end to his career.

The prime minister said he had made the choice because the £80,000 was in actual cash, as opposed to the more intangible nature of reputation and legacy.

Unveiling his tax records, he added: “I could have said to my mother, ‘just wait until after I leave office and then I’ll get the extra £200,000 and maybe have to pay the tax on it’. Some people might say that would have been the utterly obvious thing to do if I didn’t want it to come back and bite me on the arse.

“But that’s eighty grand. I might need that in case I don’t get offered lucrative consultancies or a six-figure book deal. Okay, so even John Major got offered those things, but you never know.

“I will look back at the way my career turned to pig manure and think ‘oh well’, but then I’ll look at the interest I’ve earned on the eighty grand and I’ll be like, ‘you beauty’.

“Your prime minister is not an idiot.”