Cake overrated

CAKE is not as good as everyone says it is.

Researchers at the Institute for Studies found that despite the hype, all cakes are pretty much the same.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Britain exists in a perpetual cake frenzy, and is now a baking-based economy.

“However cake is really just a type of sugary bread livened up with extras like icing or raisins. You even need a drink with cake so that it doesn’t stick in your throat.”

He added: “A decent bread and butter pudding hands-down beats the shit out of any cake ever made.”

However cake fan Emma Bradford said: “Cake is pretty much the only thing I emotionally respond to. The main aim of my life is acquiring cake and consuming it.

“I can watch news footage of death and destruction with complete impassivity, yet be moved to tears by a nice creamy cake with all bits of chocolate on it.

“Therefore either cake is amazing or there is something badly awry with my psychological make-up.”

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Samsung watch makes you look like a child pretending to be a spy

SAMSUNG’S new Galaxy Gear watch is aimed at people who want to look like they are playing a kids’ spy game.

A spokesman said: “You can speak into it, saying something like ‘Come in spy base number one.’

“‘I have located the enemy spies.’

“You can make and receive normal calls on it too, but it is mainly for pretending to be an 80s children’s TV spy.”

38-year-old Roy Hobbs said: “I want one so that when my wife calls me to ask about getting some potatoes from the shop I can act like I am getting a mission to destroy someone called ‘Doctor Moebius’.”