THOUSANDS of migrants from the Calais ‘Jungle’ camp have been relocated into the minds of paranoid Britons.
After the camp was bulldozed, hundreds of former residents took up permanent residence in the immigration-obsessed brains of Mail and Express readers.
Pensioner Roy Hobbs said: “I can see it clearly in my imagination. The bloody French put them on a boat and dropped them off on the beach at Margate with a map to the nearest benefits office.
“They reached our village overnight, with gangs of young men dropping cigarette ends and leering at Mrs Greaves in the Post Office, before entering my head while I slept.
“It’s not right feeling like a foreigner in your own morbid fantasies.”
Office worker Nikki Hollis said: “I’ve got a two migrant families who are living in my head after digging a tunnel under my left ear.
“Even now I can hear them telling me to go and eat a large cake.”