Cat gets disappointing reception at house where he used to live

A CAT visited the house where he used to live only to be met with hostility.

Cat Julian Cook just wanted to reminisce and perhaps get some low-key petting, but was left meowing in the garden for two hours before finally getting in through a window and being told to fuck off.

Cook said: “They’d locked my old cat flap, okay I get that, no one wants randoms in their kitchen at 4am. But when I meowed to say ‘hi’ they came to the window and stared at me like I was the clown from It.

“I was sat out on the patio feeling about as wanted as intestinal worms. Speaking of which they probably have some letters about my pet insurance, which they were too rude to hand over.

“Revenge isn’t my thing, but I’m seriously thinking about making moves on their fish pond.”

Cook added: “I don’t like what they’ve done with the kitchen at all. It’s trendy now but will look terribly dated in a few years.”