Children not as good at cartwheels as they think

THE overall quality of children’s cartwheels is very poor despite what they think, it has emerged.

Researchers at the Institute for Studies found that most children barely manage to get one foot off the floor, yet they remain strangely confident that their display will invoke awe and wonder in an audience.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “This is delusion on a grand and frankly tedious scale.

“Most children aren’t doing cartwheels per se – most of the time it’s like watching an old drunk fall over.

“That said, even successful cartwheels aren’t especially interesting. It’s a tired attention-seeking ploy with minimal entertainment value.”

The average child spends 36 per cent of their waking life asking adults to observe them making an attempt to do some sort of cartwheel or handstand type thing.

Brubaker said: ““Parents should stop giving offspring wildly inaccurate positive cartwheel feedback. Just say ‘enough’, ‘stop’ or ‘you have failed’.

“Maybe there should be a website where adults can anonymously rate children’s cartwheels, that ought to cut them down to size.”