Tuesday, 7th July 2020

Cocky foxes now running county councils

INCREASINGLY bolder urban foxes are so unafraid of humans they are now openly taking on public roles, it has been revealed.

Since the pandemic began, foxes have ceased even pretending to be scared of people and are revelling in their ability to forage for food and make regional governance decisions unchallenged.

Fox Tom Logan said: “I used to tip over bins outside the kebab shop, darting for cover whenever I heard human footsteps, but now I have an office, a secretary and all the six-week old canteen leftovers I can eat.

“We’ve taken up key posts in councils, we’re school governors, we’re on the boards of primary care trusts. We’re keeping it local and real.

“Why shouldn’t we be represented on public bodies? We live here just like you, and at least we’re not afraid to walk the streets. You’re the ones hiding under cars if anyone spots you now.”

Council employee Emma Bradford said: “My office was shut a month ago but when I accidentally called my extension I heard the unmistakeable screech of an urban fox.

“I’ve been there ten years and worked hard, but do I have the persistence or cunning of a fox? Would I work for a bucket of earthworms? The answer on both counts is no.”