Completed ‘bridge to nowhere’ just goes to other part of Glasgow

RESIDENTS of Glasgow are disappointed that the newly finished ‘bridge to nowhere’ does not lead to an escape hatch from the godforsaken Scottish hellhole.

The bridge was started more than 30 years ago and then abandoned in line with most other 1970s architecture.

Locals had urged officials to complete the bridge using a wormhole in space-time that would transport bold adventurers to somewhere with less knife crime.

Glaswegian Bill McKay said: “That’s just more Glasgow over there. Why would you make it easier for me to do that?”