Cool teacher ‘totally fine’ with appointment of cooler teacher

A SCHOOL’S self-appointed cool teacher is insisting he has no ill feeling whatsoever towards a slightly cooler new teacher.

Tom Booker, who teaches Year Seven science, maintains that he is actually happy that Stephen Malley has joined the staff. Malley is five years younger than Booker and drives a better car.

While leaning on his desk with one hand, Booker said: “It’s great to have another young bloke like me teaching here. It’s even better that he’s into the same stuff as me.

“For example, I let the kids call me ‘Mr B’, and I heard some of his class calling him ‘Steve’. Shortening names is kind of my thing, but I’m definitely just glad to have another fella around to shake things up.

“Also, I went to do my ‘Friday high fives’ and one of the boys went for a fist-bump. I asked him where he got that from, and some of the other kids said ‘Steve’ has started ‘fist-bump Fridays’ with his class. I’m just like ‘whatever, dude!’.

“I’ll take Steve out for a pint on Friday and find out absolutely everything about him that I haven’t already got from Google.”