Corporate bastard hiding behind fun desk ornaments

AN office worker’s collection of amusing desk ornaments hides his sly, toadying personality, it has emerged.

Tom Logan’s Lego toys, sci-fi figures and novelties have fooled many of his colleagues into thinking he is not a devious yes-man and seasoned backstabber.

Co-worker Nikki Hollis said: “Tom’s Darth Maul Lego figure suggests he doesn’t take things too seriously, but really he’s the sort of person who tells the boss if you take an extra 12 minutes for lunch.

“I overheard him trying to get someone sacked for doing personal photocopying in the office. How could he do that when he’s got all those Kinder Egg toys Blu-Tacked to his monitor?

“Another time he kept picking faults with my PowerPoint presentation and really made me look stupid, even though he’s got a mini bubblegum dispenser on his desk. 

“I’ve tried to warn the others, but they’re blinded by his Dilbert stress reliever.”

Logan said: Judas came with a kiss, I come with an amusing Minions calendar.”