CATS have asked if they can be owned by people who are not weird.
Currently anyone owning four or more cats is automatically monitored by local authorities, while anyone with 10-plus cats is ‘zoned as a special cattery’.
But the cats themselves have said they would like to be owned by the normal just to see how it feels.
Four-year-old tortoiseshell Felix said: “I hate to complain, and certainly I get stroked a lot while my owner tells me that Derren Brown can control her mind through my lovely fur…
“But negotiating my way through teetering piles of newspapers and unwashed dishes to get to the back door is a pain, while food can be a bit unreliable because of the Food Illuminati.
“Dogs get to live with normal families. I wonder what that’s like?”
Cats are particularly keen to be adopted by anyone who respects their privacy enough to not take photographs of them and post them on social media every single minute of the day.