Couple ‘moving for better schools’ told ‘f**k off and good riddance’

THE neighbours, friends, and family of a couple who are moving house to be in an area with better schools have been told to fuck off and not come back.  

Tom and Cecilia Logan, who are abandoning everything they hold dear for the catchment of an ‘outstanding’ secondary school, have proved themselves the kind of achievement-obsessed arseholes not worth knowing anyway according to friends.

Neighbour Carolyn Ryan said: “We had a friendship. We had a community. And you’ll throw all that away for better GCSE grades? Fuck you.

“My mate Marie moved to Bedford because she met this bloke. My brother lives in Scotland because he got a job there. Those are real reasons.

“But to uproot the whole family just so your thick 11-year-old can go to a school that got a marginally better Ofsted rating in 2015? What kind of twat?

“I’m honestly ashamed to have ever looked after your dog, you shallow arseholes. Go on, piss off to your better-funded local authority. We won’t miss you.”

Tom Logan said: “Morally we had no option. That school was only rated ‘good’. We’re like refugees fleeing a warzone.”