Couple splits after bad bed-making experience

A PROMISING three-month relationship ended when a man and woman made the bed together for the first time.

Stephen Malley, 28, and Janet Fisher, 29, had appeared to be totally compatible until she asked him to assist with changing the bedclothes. 15 minutes later a relationship that had seemed rock solid was in ruins.

Fisher said: “I knew there was a problem, when Stephen couldn’t tuck in the corners of a flat sheet as firmly and tightly as I like it.

“He asked why I didn’t have fitted sheets like most people. But we are all built differently and you can’t iron a fitted sheet or fold it properly for storage.”

Malley said: “I have never had trouble with a duvet before, but it had been a stressful week, I was tired and Janet made me feel under pressure.

“I couldn’t find the corners, got the duvet twisted round, panicked and ended up turning the cover inside out.

“She pretended it didn’t matter, but I could see that underneath the smile and the kind words, it did.’

Fisher said: “The sex was great, but I could never marry a man who fumbles around with the openings of pillowcases like he has bananas for fingers.”

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Olympics organisers admit green pool does smell a bit weird

THE Olympics swimming pool that has turned bright green also has a strangely familiar smell, officials have admitted.

Rio Olympics organisers initially denied there was anything wrong with a swimming pool having grape-coloured water, claiming that water just goes that colour sometimes.

However they had since admitted that it does not smell great either.

A spokesman said: “I’m not confirming any speculation but you’d be fine to go in it as long as you don’t swallow anything.

“I’d probably wear goggles too.”

He added: “These foreigners are animals. You should see what they did in the long jump pit.”