THE ‘culture war’ which has raged across the UK for the last couple of years is now looking like it was just wankers on both sides, the nation has realised.
After the outbreak of a real war, the dickheads who protected statues of Churchill and the dickheads who tweeted about Churchill being a genocidal racist both seem to have simply been dickheads all along.
Sociologist Dr Helen Archer said: “There’s something sobering about seeing cities bombarded by missiles. It makes you realise that the entire ‘culture war’ was bullshit propagated by total wankers.
“Obviously it was started by the Tories who thought by kicking up a fuss about lefties calling Rupert the Bear a paedophile or whatever they could distract from how shit they are at governing. So they’re twats.
“But it was enthusiastically taken up by pious Twitter f**knuts only too ready to claim that everything from Comic Relief to Harry Potter to an Asda Keralan prawn curry is deeply racist in order to lord it over everyone like arseholes.
“Meanwhile the rest of Britain tried to get on with life while a constant back-and-forth of bollocks raged, wishing these pricks would shut up. And now they have. Because they’re rightly ashamed.
“Perhaps we could all now recognise the cultural imperialism of Poldark is f**k all compared to the actual imperialism of bastards. Yes? Great.”