Tuesday, 7th July 2020

Dog going to sniff so many arses when this is over

A ROTTWEILER has confirmed that he is going to go out there and sniff so much bottom once this whole crisis is over. 

Six-year-old Tom Booker admits that he had taken his olfactory freedom for granted until now and when the time comes will really appreciate getting his nose right in there again.

Booker, up on his hind legs panting at the front window, continued: “I can’t wait. I’m going to block out my calendar and go nuts.

“That first day at the park is going to be three hours of non-stop chuff-huffing. There’ll be Dalmatians, Alsatians and those ones with fur that looks like string – and they’re all getting it.

“The rich variety of canine life will open itself up to my hungry nose once again. Yes old friends, like the two Staffies and that Pomeranian whose bumhole I’d catch the scent of every Thursday outside the Spar.

“But also so many new arses. Arses I can only dream of locked in here. All the arses I regret never sniffing when I had the chance, and a galaxy of new ones.”

He added: “Why my owner isn’t more into this I’ll never know. Her loss.”