LABRADOR Tom Booker wants to bite everyone at O2 after his mobile phone stopped working yesterday.
Booker said: “Like most dogs, I have a laissez-faire attitude, but when my phone network goes down I quickly switch into ‘bite everything’ mode.
“I needed to make an emergency grooming parlour booking due to having rolled in some cow shit, but because of having no signal I had to spend the whole day enveloped in an embarrassing stench.
“Being told to ‘turn it off and on again’ isn’t good enough when you’ve got paws, which makes the smaller buttons hard to manipulate.
“My stress levels are off the chart. Godammit it, somebody throw me a chewy bar.”