MODERN Easter eggs are barely two disappointing mouthfuls, adults have confirmed.
After shamelessly raiding their children’s Easter egg stash, parents across Britain have reported a meagre haul of sickly chocolate.
Stephen Malley said: “When I was a kid you’d gorge on Easter eggs until you never wanted to eat chocolate again, but I might as well have not bothered breaking that egg open. I could’ve swallowed it whole.”
He added: “I’m starting to think the few seconds of satisfaction don’t justify having to pretend to my children that there was a break-in overnight.”
Chocolate economist Julian Cook said: “At their current rate of shrinkage, Easter eggs will be merely theoretical by 2025.
“You will simply be told that you’ve eaten one, probably via a text and then you’ll feel slightly nauseous and ashamed.”