Entire nation standing far too close to the radiator

EVERYONE in Britain is standing so close to the radiator that it hurts.

As temperatures plummeted, millions of people across the country are getting home from work as quickly as possible so they can position themselves securely until bedtime.

Nikki Hollis, from Hatfield, said: “I get my phone and the TV remote and then stand so close to the radiator that it burns my arse.

“I stand there from the start of Coronation Street until the end of Midsommer Murders. Do not ask me about going to the toilet.”

Meanwhile, a British inventor has unveiled a special ‘radiator chair’ to combine maximum heat and comfort.

Mary Fisher said: “It’s essentially a bean bag that you wedge under the radiator.”