ANYONE who claims to enjoy gardening is a liar, it has emerged.
According to the Institute for Studies, 93 percent who state gardening as a hobby actually hate it and realise it is little more than grubbing about in some filth.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “Much like 90 percent cocoa chocolate, kale and Scandic crime dramas, gardening is just one of those things people think they should like, because they think it’s all very middle class.
“But it’s shit and they’re wasting their time. Just live in a flat and use your free time to buy stuff from shops.”
Joyce Smith, 43, has claimed to be a keen gardener since 1997, but says she is relieved to finally admit that it is a massive lie.
She said: “All your friends are doing it and so you just join in. It’s actually rather pathetic. Last week I bought 50 litres of animal dung from B&Q. What the fuck is that about?”