FACEBOOK is better than sex if you have never had sex or have been doing it very badly.
As a new study found that social media is distracting people from having intercourse, experts stressed that you may have been trying to do it with your elbows.
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Go back to basics and just try being naked with another human being while deploying the more obvious parts of yourself.”
Emma Bradford, who has not had sex since she told everyone about it on Facebook two years ago, said: “It did not go well so now I spend most of the day watching my feed to see if anyone else has had sex. They have not.”
Bradford’s friend Jane Thompson said: “I’m too worried about money to have sex. I recently bought an iPad Air so I can tell everyone that.”
Professor Brubaker added: “Perhaps you could have a transitional arrangement where you have sex while swapping your worthless, ill-informed opinions and then, at the moment of climax, you compare each other to Hitler.”