FAILURE is always an option despite what they tell you, experts have confirmed.
Researchers at the Institute for Studies found that people should add total failure to their list of acceptable outcomes in their work and personal lives.
Professor Henry Brubaker said: “We are conditioned to beat ourselves up about not succeeding at all the petty bullshit.
“I failed at getting some funding yesterday, and although I blamed nepotism and corrupt officialdom, I think it was really my lack of basic effort and inability to think of a good idea.
“But given that you will fail at most things, you might as well be cool with it. I fail about 20 times a day.
“Without failure we would not be human, and more importantly we would not have ‘epic fail’ YouTube videos.”
21-year-old dry stone waller Wayne Hayes said: “Today I built a wall but I fucked it up and it fell over.
“Now I’m just going to eat my sandwich and think about something else.”