Family to get ex-girlfriend’s presents

A RECENTLY-DUMPED man plans to save money by giving his ex-girlfriend’s gifts to family members.

After being dumped last week, 23-year-old Tom Booker is to pretend gifts bought for his former girlfriend were carefully selected for various relatives.

He said: “Getting my heart smashing into tiny pieces was obviously bad, but on the plus side all my Christmas shopping is now sorted.

“I’d bought her a ton of stuff and most of it can go to family, apart from the ‘sensual pleasure gel’ which is more of a charity shop thing.

“Although maybe my brother’s wife might like it, she does seem a bit sexually obsessed.”

Booker’s sister Sarah said: “He always gets her nice perfume, so that’s got to be heading my way. Maybe she’s not so much of a bitch after all.”

Booker’s father Tony is to receive the Orange is the New Black box set. He said: “I’ve never heard of this programme but apparently it’s about women getting off with each other in prison which sounds fairly interesting.”