Father so sad he can’t swear in front of toddler any more

THE father of a two-year-old has admitted wiping away tears after realising his son is no longer oblivious to his foul language. 

Tom Booker of Nantwich has promised himself he will no longer swear in front of son Ben, but describes it as “the end of a golden era”.

He continued: “I remember his innocent little baby face while I called a chair I’d stubbed my toe on a ‘fucking stupid fucking wooden bastard’.

“Bless him, he didn’t understand a word.

“But now, when I shout ‘You bellend Audi twat’ in the car and he says in his adorable piping voice ‘Twat daddy’, suddenly I realise he’s too old for these little games.

“No more rapping along to Bitches Ain’t Shit by Dr Dre on the nursery run, no more sniggering as I tell him Thomas The Wank Engine’s on.

“They grow up so quickly.”