Saturday, 7th December 2019

Father's friend doesn't deserve 'uncle' status

A 38-YEAR-OLD father of two has confirmed that one of his closest friends does not deserve the status of 'uncle'.

Tom Booker, from Edinburgh, stressed his friend Mark could have made a good 'uncle' if he could actually remember the children's names and the fact that they exist.

Booker said: “He'll call me every couple of months and suggest we go for an old-fashioned Saturday afternoon session and I say 'no, I'm taking the kids to karate lessons'.

"And he then pauses and says 'of course, of course' but I know he's thinking 'oh shit, he's got kids -  how many and what the f*ck are they called?'.

"And then he'll say 'send lots of love from Uncle Mark' before asking how my wife is."

Booker's wife Melissa said: "Mark recently suggested we all celebrate Christmas together this year and I didn't know what to say. His hugs last way too long."