THE return of the Flying Scotsman has reminded Britain of a simpler time before the internet ruined everything.
As the majestic steam engine took to the rails once more, the country remembered that it used to create proper things, instead of just a stream of worthless, ill-informed opinions.
Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, said: “Back then proper people would get on proper trains, read a proper newspaper and mind their own business.
“If they had an opinion they might write a letter to a newspaper using actual sentences and sign it with their real name.
“They spent quality time with their friends and family with whom they would share their experiences, rather than printing a load of leaflets about themselves and handing them out to strangers on the high street.”
He added: “Sadly, the return of the Flying Scotsman still failed to create as much excitement this week as Facebook introducing some little symbols to help you express your ‘feelings’ about some piece of shit on the internet.”