THE reputation of human nature plumbed new depths last night as experts claimed it includes believing in god.
An international study found that blindly accepting things for which there is not a shred of evidence is a fundamental part of who you are, especially if you are an American or ‘some kind of fucknut’.
Dr Stephen Malley, from Roehampton University, said: “Because belief in God is innate, trying to get rid of it is ultimately futile. If I was Richard Dawkins I would just pack it in and open a Domino’s franchise.”
The study also found that people who live in urban areas with libraries and homosexuals are less likely to believe in God than the sort of gap-toothed dung shovellers who think Jesus makes their potatoes nice and fat.
It is the latest crisis for human nature already burdened by violence, dishonesty, greed and a fondness for watching freaks on the telly.
Dr Julian Cook, from the Institute for Studies, said: “What we have actually discovered is that religion is natural – for tiny children.
“Therefore adults who believe in god should not be allowed to drive, have sexual intercourse or vote and should shut their stupid little faces whenever I tell them to.”