FRIDAY the 13th, supposedly the unluckiest day in the calendar, remains some distance better than any Monday according to researchers.
The day’s reputation for accidents, misfortune or being slaughtered by a man wearing a hockey mask or his mother is justified but easily shrugged off because there is no work the following day.
Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “We analysed the data and the chance of breaking a limb, losing your cashcard or leaving the office only to see your car suddenly vanish into a sinkhole is, indeed, up to eighty times higher than normal.
“However, we also found that any suffering was still nowhere near as bad as the unbearable psychological pain of finishing a full day’s work and there still being four more days to go.”
Solicitor Tom Logan said: “I left the house this morning, stepped on a stray rollerskate, skidded into an open manhole cover and looked up, dazed, only to see a grand piano falling onto my already-broken body.
“It’s a catalogue of terrible misfortune, but being in a full-body cast means no work until June and the lads are bringing a few cans to the hospital later tonight.