A MAN who bumped into an old university friend has discovered that he is now a total dickhead.
Julian Cook lost contact with former housemate Martin Bishop for over eight years ago, during which time Bishop has become a money-obsessed macho twat who thinks he is the bollocks.
Office worker Cook said: “Instead of talking about old times he kept asking me what sort of car I have.
“Then he blathered on about ‘taking home serious Ks’ from ‘folio development resales’, assuming I knew what that meant because otherwise I would not be a proper man.
“The worst bit was when he told me about some fringe political group he’s into called Libertarian England. No, actually it was when he said ‘pussy alert’ when a woman walked past.
“He probably just works and socialises with dipshits, but I wouldn’t rule out one of those injuries that turns you into a psychopath. Maybe he fell off a raft at a team-building weekend and hit his head on the riverbed.
“We parted on friendly terms but now he wants me to join his ‘weights oriented gym’ and go to a lapdancing club, which is odd because he used to be into Star Trek Generations.”