GAY couples who receive a child from a Catholic adoption agency have vowed to dress it in a studded collar and a little leather cap.
After the Charity Commission ruled that adoption agency Catholic Care could not discriminate on the grounds of sexuality, gay couples say they are now determined to raise their babies in as gay a manner as possible.
Julian Cook, half a gay couple from Doncaster, said: “This is going to be both adorable and sexy.
“Our little chap is going to have only the best quality straps, caps and thongs. I think daddy and daddy may even take him on a little ‘shopping trip’ to Morocco.”
He added: “I think the whole biker look will give him a really good start in life. Especially if he remembers to keep his cap tilted at just the right angle and leave his waistcoat open so that it shows off his lovely, oiled nipples.”
A spokesman for Catholic Care said the agency would appeal against the decision, adding: “I tell you now, if this is allowed to stand, we will soon be knee-deep in tattooed babies with tongue studs, fruity bottom piercings and more besides I shouldn’t wonder.”
But Cook’s partner, Martin Bishop, said: “He has to be pierced. How else will he be able to have his pick of the boys when we take him to gay creche?
“If he doesn’t have at least two red hot boyfriends on the go by his first birthday we’ll just give him back and get another one.”
He added: “EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!”