Friday, 3rd July 2020

Getting into Second World War one of men’s four signs of ageing

DEVELOPING an interest in the Second World War is a telltale sign of ageing in men, scientists have confirmed.

Professor Henry Brubaker, from the Institute for Studies, said: “Early signs include a curiosity about all films and TV programmes connected to the war.

“But as time goes on the average adult male will fill his bookcases with a number of books about Nazis that would otherwise incriminate a politician or disgrace a royal.

“By the time he’s in his early forties a man will have a nuanced understanding of the myriad factors that triggered the conflict. And by his 50s he will have a toxic respect for Erwin Rommel, who he will affectionately refer to as ‘the Desert Fox.’

“Finally, as he nears the end of his long life, a man will jettison all information from his brain that isn’t connected to the Second World War. He may even believe that he fought in the war, and dream of travelling back to the glory days by making bizarre voting choices.”

Prof Brubaker added: “Other signs of ageing include using the phrase ‘good piece of kit’, spending increasing amounts of time in a shed, and hitting on daughters-in-law.”