Girlfriend of ‘keen’ guitarist doesn’t want another homemade song this Christmas

A WOMAN whose boyfriend is a keen amateur songwriter has told him she only wants a present that has been bought in a shop, with actual money, this Christmas.  

Susan Traherne who has been dating guitar player Tom Booker for five years  has received a ‘home-made’ song every Christmas.

Traherne said: “Last year I got him an expensive jacket and he gave me a song about a little Robin called Susan that lives in a hedge.

“It’s like me giving him the thought ‘I must pick up some eggs and some ham.’ If I set it to music is it a present? 

“I’d like to return this song, because the chord progression is shit and the singer sounds like he’s got a nasal infection. Have you got the receipt? No. Exactly. 

“I wouldn’t make up a dance and say that’s your present. “

Guitarist Tom Booker said: “What would you rather have, a song made with love or a Panettone and a mug bought with spite and resentment? “

Traherne added: “And if he ‘gets me a poem’ I am going to lose my shit.”