THE government is to launch an inquiry into whether words such as ‘bumtard’ and ‘spangler’ are anti-gay.
Following a £2m research project into the sort of rubbish children come out with at school, the department for education is to examine the origin and use of more than 5000 words that have been used in a playground-based hate crime.
A spokesman said: “We’ve encountered any number of terms that sound vaguely like they might have anti-gay connotations but it’s frustratingly difficult to prove.
“What for instance is a ‘cleft monger’, or a ‘chip-dipper’? Should we be issuing a departmental directive on ‘arsebadger’?”
He added: “Our researchers repeatedly asked pupils at a North London primary school what a spangler is, and they just kept saying ‘Stephen Malley is a spangler’.”
The research team is also trawling the archives at the British Library, in a bid to unearth any historical reference to a gay act of ‘spangling’.
Meanwhile, seven year-old Roy Hobbs was recently labelled a homophobic bigot after he referred to classmate Nathan Muir as ‘a gay’.
He said: “Nathan and I have repeatedly conversed about his nascent sexuality, and he has expressed his preference for boys. I did not mean it in any pejorative sense.
“It’s not like he’s some dirty fucking arsebadger.”