Grammar pedant who made one mistake will never regain moral high ground

A SELF-confessed ‘grammar Nazi’ has forever lost the right to correct others after misusing an apostrophe one time.

Tom Booker made the mistake when posting a rant about the weather to Facebook. His brother, Stephen Booker, was quick to correct him.

He said: “Tom’s always correcting everyone’s grammar. It’s like, who died and made him the gatekeeper of the English language, the smug fucker? Being able to stick it to him was pure magic.

“The best bit is he’ll never be able to look down his nose at me for using the wrong ‘your’ again, because he’s the idiot who said it was five ‘degree’s outside’.

“Five degree is what, Tom? Yeah?”

Despite Booker immediately editing the post, friends and family were quick to pile on with their thoughts, such as ‘hahahahahahahahahahahahaha’ and ‘twat’.

Tom Booker said: “For fuck’s sake, it was a typo. Why can’t everyone see it was a typo?”

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Man balancing on bike at traffic lights ‘not showing off’

A MAN doing that balancing thing on his bike at the traffic lights does not want you to look at him because he is ‘doing it for practical reasons’.

Tom Booker, 37, insists he is not showing off even though it looks like he is doing a circus act at every single red light.

Booker said: “I only ‘track stand’ because it saves time putting my feet on and off the pedals.

“If I can be home two minutes quicker then that’s two minutes I can utilise for recreational purposes.”

Booker added: “My excessive use of Lycra is also about shaving vital seconds off my commute and nothing to do with the muscular contouring effect on my thighs.”

Passer-by Wayne Hayes said: “If cosmic ordering really works he will topple over and I will see it.”