Grandmother given obscene birthday card

A MAN who loves humorous ‘bad taste’ birthday cards believed one would be appropriate for his 80-year-old grandmother.

Wayne Hayes felt no one could fail to be amused by the card depicting a prim 1950s housewife with the contrasting message ‘Happy fucking birthday, you manky old slutbag!’.

Hayes said: “I gave the exact same card to my mate Emma on her 40th and she pissed herself, so naturally I assumed a much older woman of a totally different generation would like it too.

“However when I gave the card to my gran she went pale and said ‘What a wicked, wicked thing to say’. Then she put it in the bin and threatened to ‘box my ears’.

“I tried to explain, but she still looked very suspicious. Thank god I got her a box of Celebrations or she’d still think I was literally telling her to fuck off for being a slag.”

He added: “The card didn’t go down well on that occasion but I still find them unbelievably hilarious, so my dad’s definitely getting one with a Victorian gentleman on the front saying ‘Have a fucking shit Father’s Day, you bent twat!’”