Guitar in flat for decorative purposes only

AN acoustic guitar in the corner of a living room has never been played and is irrevocably out of tune, it has been revealed.

While Tom Logan’s guitar has remained in a prominent position in the house for six years, a telltale coating of dust betrays a complete lack of use.

Friend Stephen Malley said: “It’s always in exactly the same place, propped up casually as if Tom’s only just put it down after a jam session.

“But I’ve never seen Tom show any inclination to play it and the other day I idly strummed it and it sounded like a tiny cow that had fallen into a well.

“I asked him if he had a plectrum and he looked offended, as if I’d said something sexually inappropriate. I am 100 percent convinced he has no idea what a plectrum is.”

But Logan insisted the guitar is a prized possession, which he greatly enjoys not playing.

He added: “It’s very important to me that I have a guitar.
 It’s as precious to me as those framed posters for plays I’ve never seen.”