HACKERS are wondering how they can profit from stealing millions of passwords to free email accounts and entertainment websites.Now he can watch 30 Rock on Netflix
The Russian hackers are concerned that they may merely have gained access to freely available video clips, unremarkable personal photos and trillions of inane emails.
Hacker Dimitri Andropov said: Im fucked if I know how to make money out of a random Norwegian teenagers YouTube account full of Rammstein videos.
Weve got plenty of stolen email addresses, but its pointless spamming them because nowadays everyone just laughs at spam instead of being excited about getting a cut-price Rolex or massive penis.
I even tried collecting personal details off Guardian Soulmates to commit identity theft, but after a while I got sick of the chronically needy with their Zumba and love of French cinema.
The Russian hackers said they were now developing completely new internet scams, such as demanding that people handed over their bank details or face having their iPlayer favourites list deleted.
Andropov added: We may not be able to empty peoples bank accounts, but we can definitely stop them receiving their LinkedIn updates.
IT consultant Stephen Malley said: The only way to protect yourself against hacking is to pay an IT consultant £200 an hour to install Norton AntiVirus and eat biscuits.