High streets to become ‘pre-Amazon retro tourist attractions’

THE future of high streets is as nostalgic ‘pre-Amazon’ tourist attractions, it has been claimed.

It's like the internet but in buildings

It’s like the internet but in buildings

High streets across the UK are being re-branded as Noughties Land theme parks, with a £12 entrance fee to ‘discover the bygone world of manual shopping’.

The themed attractions feature ‘souvenir shops’ including Virgin and Dixons.

Eleanor Shaw, a visitor to Noughties Land in Swindon said: “I just bought a Lighthouse Family CD reduced from £18.99 to £17.99, like my grandparents probably did.

“I keep looking at the disc, trying to see the music.”

Noughties Land manager Stephen Malley said: “Our visitors buy things purely for the novelty of the experience.

“They’ll pick a book at random and then awkwardly hand the assistant a bundle of notes, slightly afraid to make eye contact.”

Father-of-two Roy Hobbs said: “I used to hate these places but now I’m nostalgic for any kind of human interaction.

“Manual shopping is a great test of your verbal skills. It also proves you don’t have to do everything on computers, because the world is like a screen you can walk into.”